With fears of a rabies contamination in Chatuchak, we’re beginning to make plans for a post-apocalyptic Bangkok, where millions of rage-infected zombies roam the streets. When the great rabies pandemic sweeps into town, we plan on being prepared so as to carry on with our lavish lifestyles as per usual. After all, the war in the South has been going strong since 2001 and that hasn’t put a dent in anyone’s eating/spending habits here in the capital. So why worry about a few zombies?First, you’ll need to sort out food. Avoid eating dogs and rabbits which are a) way too cute; and b) potential carriers of the virus. Instead, you will need to keep a pig on your balcony, with which you can make every hip dish known to man (or at least this city’s chefs)—in short, pork belly and ribs. And pork belly.You’re also going to grow some rosemary, preferably a rooftop’s worth, as you’ll be sprinkling your food generously with the stuff—your fries, your ice-cream, your mojitos... Everything tastes better with rosemary. And the scent is said to keep zombies at bay.Lastly, you all remember the Great Civil War of 2010? 7-Elevens ran out of water, then eggs, then rice and finally booze. And the only thing worse than being attacked by zombies is being sober while being attacked by zombies. Fortunately, there’s plenty of information online on how to make your own whiskey. It probably won’t be very good, though, and that’s where the “classic cocktails” trend is here to help. Stock up on plenty of canned lime and refined sugar. Shake. Pray. Forget.You might argue that the curfews are the toughest thing about zombie invasions, downtown uprisings and terrorist attacks. But hey, if Hat Yai can do it, so can you. You’ll just have to party at home—just like you did during the religious holidays last week. In the meantime, enjoy life, thank your mom for bringing you into this wonderful world, and buy her a drink or two—you know, while you still can.