We’re happy, you’re happy, everyone in Thailand is happy. What, you didn’t get that memo? Forget about the rain and all the talk of constitutions, mutating viruses and the pitiful chances of our Olympians, we’re happy. And we know we’re happy because some very clever people who do surveys told us so. In fact, we rate a whopping 104 on the happiness scale, enough to place us in the top 10 countries worldwide. Take that Myanmar—you can steal our tourists but will they buy you true happiness? Take that South Korea—you might have K-pop but you’re only half as happy as us!It seems that this particular survey judges happiness according to consumer confidence—obvious really, nothing makes you quite as happy as buying stuff. And we’re clearly good at it, whether it’s cheap electricity from Laos or B300-billion worth of flood prevention projects. It doesn’t even matter if the stuff works or not; look how happy our lovely army are with their faulty bomb detectors! Of course, as wooly-minded leftist liberals we’re honor-bound to point out that rampant capitalism might carry a few problems—you know, like exploitation of overseas Thai workers and that widening gap between the rich and poor. It’s OK, though, it seems like the people in charge are a step ahead of us on this one. First up, the government has taken pity on those poor folk at the BMA by giving them all a 20% pay rise, obviously so they can buy more stuff at all the new malls opening in Bangkok.Meanwhile, in a bid to cheer up their chum Thaksin (it’s never nice to be swindled out of B3 billion), red shirt leaders have been commemorating his birthday this week through the gift of donuts. Seriously, donuts. Some 64,000 of the things will be given to underprivileged children and adults nationwide. After all, if people have no bread or rice to eat, then what better solution than letting them eat cake? We always get our history a little muddled, but we’re sure it worked out great for Queen Marie Antoinette in France, right?