It’s now common knowledge that Thaksin will return. The question is when, and how will he make his entrance?As a Burmese Migrant Worker: It is one of those deep economic mysteries that we both desperately need workers yet cannot afford to pay them B300 a day. The solution? Well the cabinet reckons we just ship in 200,000 Burmese migrant workers. Surely, we can just throw in one more guy. Who will notice? The rules for migrant worker number 200,001: no shark fin soup, we can kick you out after four years and you can only do jobs no sane Thai would accept (well, except for Prime Minister).As an Android Tablet App: The tablet procurement plan is still on hold, but don’t think it’s because they will be obsolete and overpriced before the ink on the contract dries. No, the real delay is that Shenzen’s scientists have been asked to smuggle Thaksin back into Thailand inside one of the tablets. Loong Maew clearly won’t fit inside just one device, so they plan to digitalize his brain, and upload him as an app that could then gently mentor our students.As a Yellow Shirt: Yellow Shirts call the army up asking if they can borrow the canteen to have a meeting and no one even bothers to get back to them. Then they protest (all 12 of them) and a mahout washing his elephant makes the front page of the Bangkok Post instead. Clearly, they’ve succeeded in becoming completely invisible. All Thaksin needs to do to achieve his dream of getting back into the Kingdom, and being able to safely walk the streets of Bangkok without an armored vehicle, is slip into a shirt that’s a lovely shade of mustard.As a Natural Disaster: Speaking of invisibility devices, an earthquake with some serious tsunami potential was clearly not newsworthy enough for Thai television to break for a special report. It was more proof that the hundreds of billions spent on tsunami and flood prevention have left us exactly where we started. Now if Thaksin could just learn to surf The Big One, he’d probably make it a few kilometers inland before anyone would even notice his big head and floral board shorts cruising the barrel of the giant killer wave.