Dear Serene Highness, Bangkok Governor Mom Rachawong Sukhumbhand Paribatra,Thank you, Your Gracefulness. THANK YOU, Supreme Governor of the Upper Middle Class. At our darkest hour, when that she-witch elected by brain-washed peasants was about to flood our City of Angels, you stood up and in no uncertain terms told those FROC’ers that this where the line in the sand bag hits the watermark. “If you don’t get me more pumps,” you said, “I’ll take my plan and reconsider it.” To an untrained ear that may sound wishy washy, but us journalists can tell instant headline gold when we hear it. “Governor Eviscerates She-Witch Yingluck,” we ran in the biggest, boldest fonts we know.It’s a welcome relief, after weeks of silly indecisiveness to get a clear plan: save (central) Bangkok, screw the rest. Thanks to you, Oh Great One, 99.99% of our distribution points are still open for business—obviously BK Magazine lives in a zone that is to Bangkok what Bangkok is to Thailand, a heart of hearts, the organ that cannot fail. (Or that you are a reader of BK Magazine, which humbles us to tears.)There’s only one thing that’s got us a bit on edge of late. Booze.The wicked white men of Pattaya have run out and are making a run on the capital to stock up. Pardon our brazenness, Your Delicate Munificence, but we fervently hope you will, in another decisive show of leadership, grant us permission to shoot the sleaze bags on sight. Sure, our involvement so far has mostly consisted of going to flooded (but not too flooded) areas, being told there are enough volunteers already, taking pictures for our Facebook walls, and heading to brunch. But now that liquor is at stake, we’re ready to show what we’re made of. We’ll sleep on sandbags and fight back the invading hordes from the East with our stilettos. We’ll breathe through reeds, wade through mud and trace those dirty Sin City looters to the edge of Sukhumvit Soi 101. We won’t rest till our Black Label is safe. Oh Gubernatorial Greatness, simply call upon us, your legions of top-shelf liquor lovers, and we will make a wall of our bodies. To be wet is one thing, but to go dry is an affront we cannot stand for.With love and devotion,Your humble servants at BK Magazine