Sawadee ka! It’s me Tippy, your holy gayness and top fashion correspondent. Isn’t our PM so hot? Did you see the outfit she wore to review the troops in Laos! Purr-fect. But I don’t know how she manage to keep it together, na. I can tell you, if I were in her Jimmy Choo stiletto, I would pinch those Lao boy butts faster than she can say, “Tax incentive!” Our PM, she really has self-control.I have something to tell her, though. I am so pissed off, jing jing. I buy a pink Nissan March three months ago and, now, she’s giving them away for free. So now everyone can wear Uniqlo without flying to Hong Kong and everyone can have a car. What next? Everyone can be fabulous? I don’t think so, Yingluck. Fabulous takes work. You can’t hand it out like a free condom, honey.I tell you what’s not going to be so fabulous, is getting my beautiful butt to Fake club on Friday nights when all the bitches in town get their new Yaris. Traffic nightmare, hellooo! Free BTS, OK, good idea. I don’t mind being squashed against uni students. Or even high school students. Or even just a hard metal pole. But stuck in my car, alone, not my idea of a fab Friday night, Miss PM.And if we’re going to give discount so everyone can live fabulous lifestyles, can we add a tax rebate on liposuction? Because people are getting seriously fat sitting in their Honda Jazz instead of running to catch the bus. And maybe we can do free drinks at Fake and free Ikea, too, because if you have a car, you want to go out. And you want to pick someone up, and you need a couch to make out. See, you need to plan ahead when you give out free shit. (Oh, by the way, here’s a house keeping tip to keep your new couch clean: swallow, darling.)Oh and one last thing. If everyone gets a car, the planet will get warm maaaak. I have four seasons of winter collections from Paris I never get to wear yet. So please. Can we stop giving cars to everyone? The rest of us would like to wear cashmere at the beer parks this December. ­—Joob joob, Tippy