Poseidon is palpable entertainment, but only for those who have never seen a disaster film.
Never mind that the summer actioner Poseidon, helmed by German director Wolfgang Petersen (The Perfect Storm), wastes no time in kickstarting its action scenes. This abysmally unoriginal film, based on the 1972 original The Poseidon Adventure, comes replete with stock characters, unconvincing special effects and unpersuasive acting. This watchable, if dry (in terms of plot), action film may be set in the high seas, but this is lowbrow entertainment made for those who reckon disaster flicks such as Deep Impact (1998) and The Day After Tomorrow (2004) are the way of the future.
Like its original, Poseidon is set in New Year’s Eve aboard a luxury cruise ship. We are quickly introduced to its many characters, who will anchor the rest of the film. They are: Professional gambler and reluctant hero Dylan Johns (Josh Lucas, Sweet Home Alabama); tycoon Robert Ramsey (Kurt Russell, Executive Decision); his daughter Jennifer (Emmy Rossum, The Phantom of the Opera) and her boyfriend Christian (Mike Vogel, Rumor Has It); nine-year-old Conor (Jimmy Bennett, The Polar Express) and his mother Maggie (Jacinda Barrett, Ladder 49); annoying gambler Lucky Larry (Kevin Dillon, TV’s 24); a young waiter (Freddy Rodriguez, TV’s Six Feet Under); a stowaway (Mia Maestro, TV’s Alias) and a suicidal gay man (Richard Dreyfuss, Stakeout, who’s seen better days). Some of them will die, and some won’t (surprise, surprise).
Following joyous countdown celebrations, the Poseidon is struck by a massive wave, which pitches the ship heavily to port before rolling it upside down. Passengers are crushed by debris or dragged into the sea as water bursts in through shattered portholes. Those who have survived so far are encouraged by Captain Bradford (Andre Braugher, Duets) to stay where they are, in the bottom half of the capsized ship. But our heroic troupe decides to take matters into their own hands, and set out to the top half of the ship. And so the “adventure” begins. Determined to fight their way to the surface, they must forge a path through layers of wreckage as the ship continues to sink, face plunging lifts and similar heavy objects—and other life threatening scenarios straight out of better action films we’ve seen.
If you have seen the more compelling original film, don’t even bother with this one. After directing the disappointing The Perfect Storm (2000) and ridiculous Troy (2004), Wolfgang Petersen is still stuck in his formulaic Hollywood fodder that is about as entertaining as watching a ship sink. And Poseidon is exactly that, a movie about a sinking ship, and a brainless and pointless one at that. The characters are so caricatured and boring, we’re better off watching the far superior Titanic for the umpteenth time—at least that one had good acting and outstanding special effects. The ones in Poseidon look dated, tired and more suited for a made-for-TV movie.
Let this one sink to the bottom of the sea, never to surface again until the DVD comes out. Even the hunky Josh Lucas can’t drag this one out of the pits.
