Welcome, dear readers, to this month’s news quiz. Pencils ready?Why has a coalition of conservation groups filed a petition to close the Chiang Mai Night Safari?a. The animals are suffering from vitamin D deficiency due to lack of sunlight.b. It was illegally built in a national park.c. In response to sagging attendance, the management has a plan to paint all of the animals blue.d. They were angry that the “endangered species degustation menu” didn’t include matching wines.What is an acceptable means of venting your frustration when you are unable to make calls on your mobile phone?a. Switch carriers.b. Rip your bill into a thousand tiny pieces and mail it to your carrier.c. Break your phone into a thousand tiny pieces and mail them to your carrier.d. Skype.Which of the following have been banned in prisons?a. Sunlight.b. The live broadcast of World Cup matches.c. Shoelaces.d. Hope.Which of the following is the most distressing example of shameless greed?a. Scavengers looting evacuated homes in the flood-damaged North.b. Using the stock market for transactions to avoid paying taxes.c. Selling yellow shirts that cost B100 to make for B600.d. “Still or sparkling?”Why are officials from the Defense Ministry so upset about the leak of photographs taken by closed circuit TV cameras?a. Those who leaked the pictures to civilians broke the military’s code of secrecy.b. They were made “just for fun” when they were madly in love and things are different now.c. Worried that someone will find the cameras in the women’s restrooms.d. They looked fat in the photographs.Why have the embattled members of the Election Commission refused to resign?a. They must keep working for the good of the nation.b. Waiting to find out what their mid-year bonus will be.c. The shredding is taking longer than they thought it would.d. They believe they’re part of a reality show, and the last one to quit gets to marry a millionaire.