In a surprise move that has alarmed free speech advocates, journalists and the artistic community, the Council For Democratic Reform Under Constitutional Monarchy in a Mythical Country announced that it had sent advisors to oversee the production of West Side Story. “This is an outrage!” the outraged American director told reporters, before revealing that the advisors had “suggested” several changes to the script. “How am I supposed to make these changes? The Jets have to fight the sharks—they can’t just wait until the sharks leave town for a weekend and then claim the turf is theirs! And just imagine: a 57-year-old Asian man with bags under his eyes playing Maria—who will believe that? Just look at what they’ve done with this script. Listen to this…”FADE IN TO NEW YORKA man in a dressing room. It is the caretaker premier, alone, psyching himself up in front of a mirror before a speech to the United Nations General Assembly.THAKSIN: I feel prettyOh, so prettyI feel pretty and witty and brightAnd I pityAny Thai who doesn’t watch me tonight!I feel charmingOh, so charmingIt’s alarming how charming I feelHey, what’s that?Tanks in Bangkok? No! Can’t be real!I feel angrySo ****ing angryFeel like yelling and screaming, you see?Get me Surakiat!Get me Ruangroj! Get me the MCOT!  MEANWHILE, IN BANGKOKThe chorus—smiling members of the CDR, as seen on a TV screen. CHORUS:Have you seen our “friend” Thaksin (haha)The craziest dude in New Yawk (that’s for sure!)You’ll know him the minute you see him (look at those bags!)He’s the one who is in an advanced state of shock (som nam na!)BACK IN NEW YORKTHAKSIN:I feel dizzyI feel nauseousBut still I must keep what is mine!I am stubbornWhat makes them think I’ll resign?IN BANGKOKCHORUS: La la la la…