In a heartfelt farewell note pinned to the window of the now-shuttered Wheelock Place branch of Borders, staff expressed their sadness at the closure and gave thanks to their customers for their “support through this entire journey, and seeing us through to the end.” Sadly, they forgot to add a return address. Frustrated customers who’d turned up to sit on the window ledges for hours flicking through books they were never going to buy spend money, were left without a chance to have their voices heard. Until now.

Dear Borders,
Thanks for all the memories. Oh, and for positioning Chicken Soup for the Soul by the check-out counter. Over the years, I’ve accumulated more than twenty different titles thanks to some rather uninspired family members at Christmas. I really enjoyed the “Just for Pre Teens” edition.
Fondly, Irene, Age 88

Dear Borders,
Friends of mine always complained that your shelves were empty. Others said it was far cheaper to order online. Still others said they preferred the carefully curated content at independent bookstores. But I knew your real USP. I knew that there was nowhere better in town for catching 40 winks at lunchtime than on those comfy stools in your military history section. What am I to do now?
Regards, Sleepless in Singapore x

Dearest Borders,
I admit to being a little confused by your decision to close. After all these years, and the times we’ve spent together, how am I supposed to get from Orchard Boulevard to Marks & Spencer in the rain?
Best, Drowned Rat

Oi Borders!
If u was closing down NEway, cudnt you let us rob u first?? 2way flight from London is well cheap if we cud sell what wez stolen.
Laterz, Rioterz United

Dear Borders,
We’re going to miss you alright. We met amid your towering bookshelves, and fell in love over a shared love of George R. R. Martin. We even conceived little Johnny late one Friday night under the watchful gaze of a stack of old Sandman graphic novels. Hey, it might have been illegal but it beat doing it at home in front of our parents.
Always in our thoughts, Mr and Mrs X*
*Name changed by deed poll

Dear Amazon,
Start a site here already, would you??
Cheers, The Rest of Us