EDITOR’S NOTE
This column was supposed to be a wry reflection on the crazy, amazing evolution of Singapore in the 18 years since I-S began. However, following recent changes to employment laws to protect the local labor force, the magazine will henceforth be written not by the people most willing or best qualified to do it but instead by the first Singaporean to walk through the door. This week, we welcome Edward Tan, a charming old taxi uncle who simply got lost looking for a bathroom.

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EDITOR’S NOTE: ADDENDUM
Having kicked out all the foreigners and replaced our merit-based recruitment process with the altogether more fun game known as resume roulette, the text submitted by Mr. Tan could not be edited (our former Sub-editor was British), proofread (our former Associate Editor was Malaysian) or laid out (silly us, we had ourselves a designer from Mars). Frankly you’re lucky there’s a magazine in your hands at all.

POSTSCRIPT
Our Singaporean staff say they were mildly sorry to see their colleagues go, but admitted it would be nice to no longer be teased for abusing MC.
The newly-unemployed foreigners were a bit disappointed given how productive, progressive and fun they’d found the multinational working environment to be, but expressed relief they would now have more time to spend plotting to overthrow the country.
 
POST-POSTSCRIPT
Not all of the above statements are true. For one thing, Mr. Tan was looking for a kopitiam not a bathroom.