(Bangkok, Thailand) Columnists Hail Preah Vihear SkirmishesColumnists from leading local dailies gathered at Hyde & Seek last night to chink exotic cocktails and toast the ongoing firefights at the disputed Khmer temple on the Thai-Cambodian border.“We’ve been sitting on our asses calling for peace and, so far, the response has been phenomenal,” one columnist said, adding that the number of comments on his stories has gone up 4,000 percent. “Readers are asking that I run for UN Secretary. People really dig this stuff.”“Most of the time, news is pretty boring,” another famous editorialist explained. “Like this weekend, there’s that vote on the charter thingy. It’s nearly impossible to pen a good editorial on the new 375+125 amendment. No one gives a shit, no one understands. But call Sondhi or Chamlong an old schmuck and it’s ratings gold.”One tweet-happy editor offered words of caution to younger writers, “You just have to be careful to bring absolutely no real insight or new perspective to the problem, though. That could really turn people off.” And shared his top tweet: “If you want war, go fight it yourself. Don’t let young men die for u.” The message got him 89 retweets and 510 new followers, a personal record.For most columnists, the renewed shootings around Preah Vihear were long overdue. “When we saw the New York Times columnists writing such shocking truths as, ‘Egypt Needs Democracy Now,’ we thought, ‘Wow, if only we could write really deep, insightful stuff like that, here.’”One columnist started to mumble about using their newfound popularity to drum up interest in the 1,000 exploited factory workers set to march from Rayong to Chonburi this week only for the others to quickly quiet him down with a discussion on whether Ian Kittichai’s mac and cheese uses truffle or truffle oil.After their fourth Midsummer Night’s Dream, a mix of chamomile, caviar reduction and yaa dong, most of the participants were already typing up tomorrow’s editorials on their iPads and brainstorming headlines: “OK, well if you’re going to use ‘Peace is Really, Really Good,’ can I use ‘Peace is Most Wonderful’?” Finally, a last toast was made to how much easier it is to write meaningful prose in times of war, before everyone stumbled home for some well-earned R&R.