Film must have been really upset over Pinky and Thunya’s alleged sex scandal. “There I was promoting my new plans to go inter through the whole fake-baby thing. And now those bitches come along and steal my thunder,” we could almost hear him say. “My album isn’t even out yet. It’s just not professional!”There’s just no control over spin these days. In fact, we’re 45.6% certain RS Promotion was forced to move up the Pinky and Thunya scandal, which was scheduled for November, under influence from the government.“We got a call from the Public Health Ministry,” explained one anonymous (OK, made-up) RS Promotion marketing executive. “They basically told us, ‘Look, we squandered 61 billion baht on drugs for civil servants that they didn’t need or never got, but then forgot to pay our doctors for the past 10 months. We really need something to lift people’s moods and have no money left for free viagra.’ We thought a threesome was more titillating than a gay dad.”Public relations teams must be finding it hard to keep up. “It used to be you could just say Ling Ping had sneezed, but now people are busy getting freaked out by stuff like the Nonthaburi bomb. It’s getting harder to distract them from the real issues,” a government PR posted on her facebook page. (Well, she only posted, “So tired! Let’s go K. Village relax na ka” but we can read between the lines.)For the government to get any attention, the stakes just keep getting higher. “We had to have the PM go on record asking for a minimum wage of B250. Of course, we’ll only get B210, but we’ll just blame it on greedy industrialists. At least we asked. And if the PM still doesn’t get coverage, we’ll just add a zero or have him take off his shirt,” an intern at the Ministry of Communication and Magic said.Anti-foreign sentiment was also being encouraged as a welcome distraction, with plans to burn effigies of evil Aussie chef David Thompson and make him eat KFC’s gaeng khaew wan fried chicken, a McSpicy and an Angry Burger all blended into one nutritious shake. “With English being made the second language in every school by Abhisit, we just want to make it clear that we’re only learning it to better express how much we despise foreigners,” the Minister of Education and Happy Thoughts tweeted in Sanskrit.“If PR keeps being this tough, I’d even consider being a journalist,” one student of Public Relations told us, echoing the general sentiment among her classmates. “But only if I can write about nice things, like handbags and puppies.”