Panic swept through the business community in Thailand the other day when rumors circulated that Bangokians might actually be suffering from mall-opening fatigue. The SET dropped five points when one new mall opened without a small riot taking place and a stark absence of Instagram photos of the new water feature on Facebook.As the shockwaves were still reverberating in the retail sector, the tweet, “Weather nice today, think I might skip visiting that new mall in favor of the park,” became a trending topic in the Kingdom, forcing share prices to plunge further.Fortunately, a swift intervention by the Government prevented the situation from turning into an anti-capitalist epidemic. A spokesman for the Office of the PM confirmed that the police, under the direction of MICT, had managed to round up all those individuals who had re-tweeted such an inflammatory suggestion.He further confirmed that all those detained would be forced to undergo intensive retail therapy, involving forced viewing of BTS ads for 12 hours straight. In response to complaints by human-rights watchdogs, he pointed out that every offender would eventually be released, once they can recite the new slogan for the Uniqlo ad campaign.The recent cabinet reshuffle also demonstrated how seriously those in charge took the scare, with room being made for Africa expert Nalinee Taveesin. “Crony” capitalism, you say? Please, more like “progressive expansion.” After the collapse of the Middle Eastern markets due to the Arab Spring, the TAT folks have recommended targeting African dictators as a lucrative alternative to boost visitor spending in the Kingdom.The government also pointed to the appointment of their new deputy agricultural minister and former red-shirt leader, Nattawat Saikua and his proven track record of helping boost the sales at more out of the way shopping malls in the city.Leading mall developers also confirmed that there was no thought of slowing down their aggressive expansion campaign of opening one new mall every two days. “We won’t stop building until you can walk from here to Ikea without having to leave the safety of an air-con mall,” declared one executive, before heading into a meeting to decide whether to pick an environmental, Mediterranean or New England theme for their next retail complex.