Issue Date: 
Jan 6 2011 - 11:00pm
Author: 
Page3
Topics: 
city living

You’re alive! Thank god. With all those hot 15 to 18-year-old daughters of hisos driving at top speed on the toll way, we were a tad worried that our plans to drive drunk would be marred. It’s one thing to be nearly passed out at the wheel, but it only works if the people surrounding you are seasoned, experienced motorists, not a khun nuu BB-chatting at 130kph. We were so worried about our fellow motorists, we vaguely considered such radical strategies as drinking at home or eating a mint before leaving the bar. Then we remembered all it takes is B3,000 to the police officer to get off the hook, poured ourselves another round and put on our racing gloves.Hence, while we assume you, dear reader, are alive, we’re not too sure about us. You see, we sent this note to the printer before the New Year celebrations, so we may very well be speaking from the grave. If you find this idea a morbid start to 2011, it’s not exactly our fault. We’re not the ones who decided seatbelts in minivans were unconstitutional. Or that the grammatically-challenged appeal to “drink, don’t drive” seems to do much more to encourage what comes before the comma (cheers!) than to discourage what comes after it (tangled heaps of steel and mangled bodies).Still, we promise to improve on our bad habits this year. Under the impetus of our PM and the New Year weekend casualties, we have decided to rotate our drinking days. On odd days, half the office will drink. On even days, the other half. The idea, is that by having alternating drinking and driving days, half the population on the roads of Thailand, at any given point, will be sober. So that when that drunk driver veers into your lane, there’s a 50/50 chance you’ll be fit enough to avoid the poor guy in the nick of time. And likewise, when you venture into oncoming traffic with a hiccup and a muttered, “Whoopsy! Hehe, that was close,” half the cars will make way for your slightly sketchy piloting.And now, as with all New Year resolutions, let us proceed to erasing them from our memories for the next twelve months. Have a great 2011 and a safe, peaceful weekend.