Assets are a funny thing. When you’re young, you can never get enough of them. You want to grab as many as you can, play with them. You could just sit on them, but they’re more fun to show off—that is, when they’re not that big. You take it for granted that your assets will always be nice and compact. But anyway the shape of your assets doesn’t matter much because you’re young and no one seems to pay any serious attention to them.When you get a bit older, however, those assets really start growing. In Thailand, especially, successful businessmen see their assets grow at impressive rates. Politicians, too, are known for their huge assets. And if you’re already a successful businessman and then take a position in the government, wow! You could see your assets double in just four or five years.One day, the size of your assets really catches you by surprise. You’re so focused on making money, working hard, changing the world, then all of a sudden you realize: “Whoa, I’ve got huge assets!”Sometimes it’s a bit depressing to look in the mirror and think about the size of your assets. But then you remind yourself that your wife and kids are really happy with your assets. The only problem is that other people want to look at your assets, too. You try to tell yourself otherwise but can’t help but suspect that they’re perverts: Why else would they want you to reveal your assets for all the world to see? Why couldn’t they have asked to see them when your assets were tight, heart-shaped and half the size they are now? And not just once, either—they want you to reveal them every time you take up a new position.So of course you’re obliged to move your assets around. But it’s much harder when you’re old and successful. When you were young, though: Damn, you could really shake your assets. It wasn’t just sideways or up and down but all over the place. All the girls—and some guys—were impressed. Now it takes a lot more time and effort to move your assets, and it can be hard getting out of bed the next morning.Just because no one grabs your assets doesn’t mean they don’t want a piece of them. But you don’t want to give them up without a fight, lest they think you’re easy. You want to stand your ground, stare them straight in the eyes and tell them, “Keep your dirty hands off my assets.”If, however, you find yourself outnumbered and overwhelmed, it might be time for you and your 50 bags to skip the country. You’ll be tempted to deliver a parting shot (“Kiss my assets!”), but resist the temptation. After all, with those assets you’ll be able to buy yourself a new life, where no one remembers what your assets used to look like.