Following in the footsteps of democracy-loving leaders like Richard Nixon, our caring caretaker premier is rumored to have recorded all of his phone conversations. After minor editing, the story goes, the Dolby digital recordings (with full surround sound) will be archived in the newly christened Thai Rak Thai library for posterity. Some hypothetical excerpts:Caller (Unidentified 50-Something Male Voice Speaking in Thai-Accented English With a Slight Texas Twang): Ni hao, Premier Wen! This is Thaksin. How’s it hangin’?Receiver: Uh, “hangin’”? Low? Fine, I guess. What can I do for you?Caller: Well, I was thinking about stopping by for a visit.Receiver: (Long silence) Look, we’ve already signed the deal for your broadband satellite. The ink’s dry, man. There’s no need, really.Caller: No, no, no. Just a friendly visit. Friends hangin’ out. No pitches, I promise. Besides, I don’t even own Shin anymore….Caller: Tony, my man!Receiver: Hullo, Thaksin. How are you doing?Caller: Swell, thanks. Actually I’m doing a bit of traveling, was thinking that maybe we could get together for a cup of tea?Receiver: Well, mmm (long silence). No offence, T, but you’re no longer prime minister, correct?Caller: Well, technically, no. But we can still be friends, right? Just like old times. And I have that fabric that Cherie really liked. C’mon….Caller: Vladimir, buddy! Comrade! I know you’re busy. Listen, I’m thinking of flying in to see you. Next week, in fact.Receiver: Pryvet, Thaksin. I heard about what happened. Sorry I didn’t call. See me? What about? We still have plenty of those longan left.Caller: Nothing in particular. Can’t a guy just want to kick it wid his friends?Receiver: Well, sure. But it’s a bit short notice. And I am really busy. Tell you what: I’ll visit you. We’ll meet in Pattaya. Soon. I promise. OK?Caller: Moshi moshi! Koizumi-san, ogenkii?Receiver: Very well, thank you, Thaksin-san. I heard you’re on holiday.Caller: That’s right. Golf every day, time to smell the roses—the bags under my eyes are almost gone.Receiver: No need to ask: Yes, I’ll see you when you stop by.Caller: Hey! How did you know? You’re not going to make me visit that shrine again, are you? If Wen found out he would kill me….Caller: Gloria! Buenos dias!Receiver: Uh, buenos “dias” to you, too, Thaksin. But it’s one in the morning. When did you start speaking Spanish?Caller: Oh, that’s nothing—wanna hear my Tagalog?Receiver: I’d rather not. Look, is there something you want?Caller: No, just wanted to say hi. We’re friends, right? Close friends, right?Receiver: Are you drunk?