For four years, we’ve waited for a sighting of His Glorious Gubernatorial Graciousness MR Sukhumbhand Paribatra. Well, the time has come, Bangkok. GGG MR SP is back and he loves you just as much as he did the last time he needed your votes. Here’s a quick recap of the gov’s campaign trail kick-assery so far:His first appearance was to declare that his proudest achievement for the past three years was to add a halal kitchen to Nong Chok Hospital. Sweet! The lack of a good goat curry to chow down on after a tonsillectomy was indeed high on our list of gripes. Thank you GGG MR SP!His second appearance was on a billboard with some other celebrities to remind us that we Bangkokians are not republican Red Shirt terrorists, but are actually quite the opposite. We abhor having our malls burned, particularly for ideological reasons. And extra particularly if that mall is home to the only GAP store in town. (In 2012, the equivalent would be having H&M taken from us. NoOOOooOOO!!!) GGG MR SP claimed he had no idea how he ended up on the billboard, though, which only goes to show he’s just like the rest of us. We have no idea how we end up in most of our Facebook pictures, either. Go GGG MR SP!His third appearance was to tell us why Bangkok was flooding. It’s not that the BMA has failed to dredge sewers and canals, but that Red Shirts have been purposefully sabotaging the canals to cause flooding. While this theory makes perfect sense, it was not clear what exact method the terrorist dogs were using. Were they instructed to wipe their derrieres with canal-clogging tissues instead of the more refined douching method? Or were they simply increasing their sticky rice intake? Either way, it worked: we’ve regularly shown up late for work due to their flood-inducing trickery.Latest polls show GGG MR SP is way ahead with 40% of votes, followed by 27.6% for former TRT exec Khunying Sudarat Keyuraphan. But with 62.8% of Bangkokians undecided, Bangkok is still at risk of succumbing to dark terrorist forces. So stay on high alert, and whenever someone brings up issues about traffic, sidewalks or public transportation, just stand up straight and shout, “It’s my city! Love it or leave it!”