Regrettably, we didn’t get around to writing anything for this column this week. That’s because we were too busy snorting diamonds and setting Louis Vuitton bags on fire at Pangaea. Haven’t you heard? Everyone’s at it! If the Wall Street Journal was to be believed a few weeks back, most of Singapore is busy chalking up six-figure bar bills, mopping the Cristal stains off their Lanvin suits and—sorry, “the sound of a Ferrari zooming past” distracted our train of thought there.

So where were we? Oh yes, not writing this column while gaily dancing on a crocodile-skinned couch at the world’s most expensive club. Is that the taxi uncle from earlier over there with those models? Surely that can’t be our high school math teacher in the “futuristic-looking white top embellished with silver at its collar” who’s worth “six to seven billion U.S. dollars…for a fact”? Actually, it might well be, only we’ve no way of knowing because we’re not really there. In keeping with the theme of the article in question, this column is taking place mostly in our imagination. (Welcome! Please leave your Louboutin heels at the door.)

Not really partying then, but really writing this column seems like a pretty poor trade-off, given how much fun everyone else is apparently having. Everyone except us and Gini, that is. Gini can’t get in at Pangaea. Or Filter (which recently upped its exclusive access policy another notch by closing down completely). Gini doesn’t know much about Chanel 2.55 bags. All Gini knows about is the income disparity between rich and poor, a.k.a. the Gini coefficient. Which, in Singapore, is the second highest in the developed world. Meaning, thankfully, we’re not the only people not at Pangaea! (Keep up in the back, there.)

Now, we could go on to say that in light of such an appalling statistic, such displays of excess and extravagance are in pretty poor taste. But frankly, we’re too busy imagining a world in which dancing on a table made from a 1,000 year old tree while wearing a fake shark’s head is considered some kind of accomplishment, to care.