After the worst riots here in 40 years, the government moved quickly to enact an alcohol ban in Little India, citing the problems caused when large groups of men gather to drink cheap liquor on the street on Sundays, starting fights and generally making a nuisance of themselves. In some quarters the new rules were judged reactionary, if not a little racist. Thankfully, the Body Of Over Zealous executives (BOOZE) this week stepped in to clarify the rules about when, where and why you’re allowed to drink in public here.

1. Drinking on the street is generally discouraged. However in safer environments, such as bridges over the river or by the seafront, it is perfectly acceptable.

2. Large groups of aggressively drunk men are entirely free to gather in one place, but that place must be China One at 3am.

3. Drinking cheap liquor inside paper bags is frowned upon, unless you’ve paid $60 for an ironic take on it at a hipster cocktail bar.

4. Getting drunk on a Sunday is a really bad idea. Unless it’s a Champagne brunch, in which case: Best. Idea. Ever.

5. Drinking so much you try to start a fight with everyone around you is utterly unacceptable. It is also known as Christmas. Wear a Santa hat and you can get away with murder.