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Love guru DJ P'Aoy from Club Friday wants your Valentine's Day drama
On-air love guru “DJ Aoy,” Napaporn Trivitwareegune, 43, is admired by millions for her ever-popular radio program on 106.5FM, Club Friday, on which fans call in to discuss their dramatic love-lives. Here she discusses why infidelity is like a drug, and dishes out some relationship advice for all of us.

By Tewit Phanitprachaya | Feb 09, 2015

  • Love guru DJ P'Aoy from Club Friday wants your Valentine's Day drama

See also: 50 Shades of Bangkok: A guide to sex in the city


My parents never forced me to do anything. My dad never told me I had to get good grades. When no one expects anything from you, that’s when you start to feel comfortable and things turn out the way you want them to. That’s how I became a DJ and it’s something I love to do.
 
I’m a keen writer. As well as DJing fulltime, I love to capture visual memories and turn them into words.
 
Urban people are lonely. We walk past endless numbers of people every day without speaking to them. That’s why social networks have become an essential part of our love lives.
 
Social networks are like sanctuaries that help us to not just share love, but also show off. We expose ourselves and allow the private to become public. This may not sound problematic at first, but I believe it may lead us down the wrong path.
 
People would rather live in a fantasy than face reality. I have more and more teen listeners who say, “I love him so much. We’ve been talking to each other for two years, but we haven’t met even once. What should I do?” It’s such a new-generation problem.
 
Parents think they have become closer to their children. Partly due to social media, parents believe they are more in tune with what their kids are up to. They would much prefer that their kids are in their bedroom playing on the internet than outside getting into trouble, but they don’t realize the social problems this may cause.
 
Infidelity is a quick fix to resolving problems between couples. Instead of addressing them at the source, it just introduces more characters and creates a greater mess. Sometimes we simply want to reaffirm our own importance. But, of course, in the wrong way.
 
Cheating is like a drug. Those who’ve never tried it think it’s not that addictive. Just once or twice won’t make a big difference. But before you even realize, you’re caught up in a messy string of relationships.
 
Morality in love has significantly decreased. People are less concerned about maintaining a longterm relationship. Teens, and even groun-ups , would rather be free from committment and responsibility. There's an attitude that, as long as you’re not married, it’s OK [to cheat], which is just sad.
 
We have too many excuses for everything, let alone love. When lovers put blame on each other, that love becomes conditional.
 
Valentine’s Day is always problematic. Expectations rise so high that they become a double-edged sword. There’s always a fight when couples can’t make time for one another on this day. But it’s a day when everyone’s doing the same thing—why’s it so special?
 
Using the wrong tone of voice can destroy your love life. I came across one tweet the other day that said 90 percent of relationship drama comes f rom poor choice of tone.
 
We all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. Some choose to solve problems by keeping quiet. They never argue and then one little problem comes along and they break.
 
Stop trying to find a balance in your relationships. Men and women have such different world views that they’re never going to meet halfway. Finding the middle ground between the two means you have to give up a part of who you really are. Be yourself and things will work out.
 
Women will never be equal to men. At this age, I don’t believe in the existence of gender equality. In fact, I don’t think it’s important that we must be equal. Each sex has its own strengths that compliment each other.
 
Men can cry. Why do we keep saying that men must not cry? It’s against our nature.
 
Sex is the only issue worth compromising for. Lovers need to comunicate and find balance between one another’s desires. Fighting over sexual roles has become one of the most deeprooted problems couples face.
 
Talk less and listen more. I know women are hormone-driven and need to express how they feel, but just doing the talking won’t figure anything out; you need to listen, too. Nothing is permanent, including love. We shouldn’t attach ourselves to anything.
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