LEO (July 23-Aug 22): Can you force things to grow? Is it possible to induce ripening simply by aggressively exerting your willpower? Normally I’d say no, but these days I think it’s within your capacity. Don’t misunderstand. I’m not saying you could go up to a tomato plant and magically transform mid-size green tomatoes into big orange beauties. But from a metaphorical perspective, you could accomplish something like that. What fragile bud would benefit from bursts of your vitality?
I’m not saying you could go up to a tomato plant and magically transform mid-size green tomatoes into big orange beauties. But from a metaphorical perspective, you could accomplish something like that.
“The Sorcerer’s Apprentice should be rated U for Untouched by Human Hands.” Peter Travers, Rolling Stone
“Ever wonder what the Harry Potter films would be like without an ounce of wit, grace or subtlety? Wonder no more.” Jason Heck, Kansas City Star
“Nicolas Cage and his magical perm con- jure little more than bland theatrics in this formulaic fantasy flick.” Thomas Leupp, Holly- wood.com
Directed by Jon Turteltaub, starring: Nicolas Cage, Jay Baruchel, Alfred Molina, Teresa Palmer
“An avalanche of scatalogical humour and lame jokes that make the Austin Powers films look like masterpieces.” Allan Hunter, Daily Express
“Leading man Will Forte will make you pine for the graceful savoir faire of Jack Black or Adam Sandler.” Catherine Bray, Film4
“If one joke clanks, the next one isn’t long behind. The result is a brisk 88 minutes that ensures that if you didn’t like it, your suffering was at least brief.” Sean Means, Salt Lake Tribune
Directed by Jorma Taccone, starring: Will Forte, Kristen Wiig, Ryan Phillippe and Val Kilmer.
CANCER (Jun 21-Jul 22): “Give us this day our daily hunger,” prayed French philosopher Gaston Bachelard. It was his personal variation on the “Give us this day our daily bread” line from the Lord’s Prayer. I suggest you use his formulation as your own in the coming week, Cancerian. It’s the high season for your holy desires: a time when your mental and physical health will thrive as you tune in to and express your strongest, most righteous longings.
A favorable review of a Riesling: “The sweet succulent aromas of bosc pears are woven with lilacs and just a hint of petrol.” This seems to suggest that greatness may contain a taint—or even that the very nature of greatness may require it to have a trace of something offensive.
Bussaba Wootipong, 18, student
“Bangkok men, of course. All the trendy shops and department stores allow them to be more chic and good looking than their upcountry peers.”
Emily Whitley, 20, student
“Its craziness. It’s so crazy and there’s always something going on. It’s never boring.”
Directed by M. Night Shyamalan, starring: Noah Ringer, Nicola Peltz, Dev Patel, Jackson Rathbone.
“The current national priorities should be as follows: reduce carbon emissions and stop funding the films of M. Night Shyamalan.” Cliff Doerksen, Chicago Reader
“Who would have thought Shyamalan would come up with a movie that makes his Lady in the Water look positively sensible?” Christopher Kelly, Fort Worth Star-Telegram
Critical opinions you won't see in the movie ads.
1. Survival Bible
The SAS Survival Handbook, Revised Edition (B445 on Amazon.com) is packed with techniques on surviving crises like chemical and nuclear attacks. Another hot pick title is the cheerfully titled How to Survive the End of the World as We Know It: Tactics, Techniques, and Technologies for Uncertain Times (B375 on Amazon.com) which has been called “the definitive guide on how to prepare for any crisis—from global financial collapse to a pandemic.”
2. Water purifier
Our shopping suggestions for a complete paranoia, er, we mean, survival kit.
CANCER (Jun 21-Jul 22): Have you ever observed the rising moon with such a steady gaze that you’ve actually seen it move? Have you ever sat yourself down in front of a rose bud during the hour it exploded into full bloom? Those experiences have resemblances to a slow-motion burst of graceful growth that’s unfolding in your own sphere. I hope you have the patience to give it your full attention, because that way it’s more likely to express its potential completely.
In the next few weeks, the odds are higher than usual that you’ll inherit an amusement park or a tropical island or a profitable pig farm.
A recent UK study found that residents of the countryside live an average of two years longer than those who spend most of their lives in urban environments. What’s so dangerous about city life? Everything! Here are just some of the things that will kill you in our big bad city—and what you can do to survive.
Surviving Bangkok’s pollution, plagues, crime and natural disasters.
Directed by Robert Luketic, starring: Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher, Tom Selleck.
“The script is bowel-rupturingly bland—you can almost sense the bits where they wrote [INSERT JOKE HERE] and never got round to it.” Robbie Collin, News of the World
“Killers goes wrong so quickly and obviously it’s almost hard to believe—did collective deafness strike on set?” Tim Robey, Daily Telegraph
Critical opinions you won't see in the movie ads.
