On the Thonburi side of the Chao Phraya sits a series of restaurants that offer great views of the city at night along with debatable fare. Establishments range in price from the upper crust (The Peninsula) to dirt cheap, with the quality of food served in an equally diverse range. Be My Guest Pub and Restaurant sits somewhere towards the lower end of the scale judging by both these criteria, but could make sense if you are stuck outside the Millenium Hilton and are in a desperate search for seafood. Apart from the name of the restaurant, which conjures up images of tableware waltzing around the room singing that annoying song from Beauty and the Beast, there’s nothing overtly offensive about Be My Guest. Then again, it doesn’t really have anything going for it either. The place has both an indoor and outdoor section, though everyone seems to enjoy the alfresco dining amidst the slightly seedy “beach bum lost in the city” décor, which jars slightly with the American country music (Dolly Parton, Willie Nelson) playing over the stereo. Live musicians timidly playing Thai classics come on every night at 8pm. So what exactly draws a decent crowd here on a Monday night? Our waiter suggested it was the tom sap en muu (spicy, sour soup with pork tendons), and it is a pretty tasty dish, though the tendons have the consistency of slimy fat. The plamut khay nung manow (squid stuffed with squid eggs and cooked in lime) is a better guess, which came basted in a tangy, minty sauce that was quite nice. The eggs that the squid were stuffed with were totally gelatinous, though, and since the dish was a tad undercooked, squished around in your mouth like the pork tendons—a bit too gross for our tastes. A somewhat safer bet was the goong op woon sen (baked prawns with thin glass noodles), though the noodles were quite dried out and almost completely flavorless. On the bright side, the waiter was a very friendly guy. Be My Guest would be a great restaurant somewhere like Cincinnati, where there is nothing similar to it at all. Unfortunately, this is Bangkok, where good seafood is more abundant than pigeon droppings. For inner city dwellers, it’s just too far to come for mediocre food. Corkage B200.