GEMINI (May 21-Jun 20): My favorite news source, The Onion, recently reported on a “free-thinking cat” that excretes its wastes “outside the box.” As you enjoy your own phase of liberated thinking and uninhibited action, Gemini, I hope that you’re putting the emphasis...
published: May 26 2010 - 10:13am
GEMINI (May 21-Jun 20): When Paul McCartney first got the inspiration to write the song “Yesterday,” he had the melody and rhythm but couldn’t get a feel for what the lyrics should be. For a while, as he was waiting for the missing words to pop into his brain, he used nonsense...
published: May 20 2010 - 11:00pm
TAURUS (Apr 20-May 20): “I can’t live the button-down life,” says cartoon character Homer Simpson. “I want it all: The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles.” Born May 10, Homer is unusual for a Taurus. Many of your tribe love the creamy middles but...
published: May 13 2010 - 11:00pm
TAURUS (Apr 20-May 20): A little knowledge can be dangerous. I constantly meet people who have boxed themselves into tight spots by misusing their smattering of astrological information. There’s no better example of this than the superstition about Mercury retrograde, which is supposedly a...
published: May 6 2010 - 11:00pm
TAURUS (Apr 20-May 20): A little knowledge can be dangerous. I constantly meet people who have boxed themselves into tight spots by misusing their smattering of astrological information. There’s no better example of this than the superstition about Mercury retrograde, which is supposedly a...
published: Apr 29 2010 - 11:00pm
TAURUS (Apr 20-May 20): Yes, I know that the bull is your totem animal. But I’m hoping you’re willing to expand your repertoire, because it’s a ripe time for you to take on some of the attitudes of the king of beasts. Consider this. The naturalist and shaman Virginia Carper notes...
published: Apr 22 2010 - 11:00pm
ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19): Photons work hard to get from the heart of the sun to the surface. They can take up to 160,000 years to complete the 400,000+-mile journey. And yet once Earth-bound photons get topside, they travel the 93-million-mile distance to our planet in just over eight minutes. I...
published: Apr 15 2010 - 11:00pm
ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19): It would be a good week for you to perfect your ability to crow like a rooster, Aries. I also recommend that you practice your skill at leaping out of bed in the morning fully refreshed, with your imagination primed and ready to immediately begin making creative moves. Other...
published: Apr 8 2010 - 11:00pm
ARIES (March 21-April 19): I’m worried about your ability to sneak and fake and dissemble. These skills seem to have atrophied in you. To quote Homer Simpson, “You couldn’t fool your own mother on the foolingest day of your life with an electrified fooling machine!” Please,...
published: Apr 1 2010 - 11:00pm
ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19): All but one of our planet’s mountain ranges have been mapped: the Gamburtsev Mountains, which are buried under 2.5 miles of ice in Antarctica. Recent efforts to get a read on this craggy landscape, aided by a network of seismic instruments, have revealed some initial...
published: Mar 26 2010 - 12:00am
