Have you been paying attention?

March in Bangkok officially sucks. It’s hot, there’s hardly any holidays, and the one day we do get off work’s a dry day. Then there’s this lot: the biggest headlines from the past 31 days. How much of it do you remember?
 

1. According to local scientists, what in Bangkok is safe to drink?

a.    The remaining tap water not used up by massage parlours.
b.    Sangsom and Red Bull buckets, but only when mixed with the fizzy European Red Bull.
c.    The B380 red wine in 7-Eleven that doesn’t actually say “wine” on the bottle.
d.    The unregulated homebrews at Baan Dok Kaew. 

 

2. Why did Generalissimo Prayuth use Section 44 to dismiss election commissioner Somchai Srisuthiyakorn?

a.   At under 60  years old, Somchai was considered too much of a young radical.
b.    Somchai’s definition of democracy included vague ideas about public representation and governments being elected by the people, and therefore wasn’t Thai Niyom.
c.    Somchai once had dinner with Thaksin’s cousin’s estranged nephew.
d.    He was “causing confusion,” which is about the most confusing and ambiguous statement we’ve ever heard.
 

3. The son of NLA member Youdtana Tupcharoen was  recently caught doing what in the UK?

a.    Wearing Burberry fakes from MBK.
b.    Making upskirt videos in Topshop.
c.   Pouring condensed milk into Twinings breakfast tea.
d.   Trying to get supercar parking in Shoreditch.

 

4. What do the junta and Thaksin have in common, according to the Washington Post?

a.    They both felt BNK48’s third single, “Shonichi,” was a disappointing follow-up to “Koisuru Fortune Cookie.”
b.    Both consider 1am an acceptable closing time for Thonglor nightlife.
c.    Both like gold Rolex Daytonas, though Thaksin’s not so keen on Richard Mille sports-chrono pieces.
d.    Both thought Nattawut’s Bad Genius didn’t deserve the hype at this month’s Suphannong Awards.

 

5. Newly released data shows that the average Bangkokian spends 2.4 hours of every day doing what?

a.    Waiting for the traffic lights to change at Asoke junction.
b.    Watching Youtube videos... in traffic... at Asoke junction. 
c.    Selecting the right filter for Instagram selfies. 
d.    Walking around Paragon trying to remember what floor Uniqlo’s on.
 

Answers:

  1. The correct answer is (a). Testing reveals your tap water is safe—which is more than can be said about your morning orange juice.

  2. The correct answer is (d). Somchai’s commitment to holding elections just didn’t fly with the junta’s definition of an election.

  3. The correct answer is (b). A UK judge was quick to throw the book at young Youdtana, sending a strong lesson to all Thai offspring of well-to-do families: If you must break the law, do it in Bangkok!

  4. The correct answer is (b). The Washington Post reported that the junta is enforcing a Thaksin-era curfew on Bangkok.

  5. The correct answer is (b). We spend more time on Youtube than Casey Neistat spends on his electric skateboard. Now go follow www.youtube.com/user/bkmagazine and find out what we eat for breakfast.