The short month of Feb is at an end. That means three things: 1) You get an early payday (yay!); 2) It’s still one month till Songkran (boo!); And 3) It’s the return of our news quiz.
1. According to a NIDA poll this month, what do 68% of Bangkokians disbelieve?
a) That there’s any real cheese in a Pizza Company Double Cheese Pizza with Cheesy Lava Crust.
b) That Art Araya is better than Pan Pan at hosting Drag Race Thailand.
c) That it’s quicker to walk to CentralWorld from BTS Siam than BTS Chit Lom.
d) That the authorities have a hope in hell prosecuting Italian-Thai CEO Premchai Karnasuta.
2. What does the BMA say it will take them till 2021 to rectify?
a) Sukhumbhand’s travel expenses.
b) The deadly smog slowly killing us from the inside.
c) The lack of exclusive puu yai lanes on all of Bangkok’s most traffic-clogged roads.
d) Replacing Pol. Gen. Aswin with someone we voted for.
3. Who visited Japan this month and why?
a) Wissanu for the AVN Adult Expo 2018 and to get a signature from Sora Aoi before she retires.
b) Everyone you follow on Instagram for snowy Niseko dynamite.
c) Thaksin for a family reunion.
d) Premchai because B150,000 bail is less than the nightly rate for a decent suite in the Tokyo Peninsula.
4. Which of these lines did the New York Times recently write about Bangkok?
a) “The cocktails are more expensive than on the Upper East Side.”
b) “The deputy PM makes Trump look thrifty.”
c) “America should feel ashamed. 7-Eleven’s sticky rice pork burger beats all our own burger efforts.”
d) “Gaggan is regularly ranked as Asia’s best restaurant. Don’t eat there.”
5. What tainted this year’s Cobra Gold joint US-Thai military operations?
a) Mad Dog Mattis and Gen. Udomdej were caught cuddling in a sleeping bag together.
b) Thailand was responsible for the food and everyone knows farang hate pla raa.
c) Some Burmese generals were invited, someone mentioned the Rohingya, and the whole thing got totally awkward.
d) The U.S. promised to bring tax-free Peekskill IPA but forgot, so everyone had to drink Leo.
1. The correct answer is (d). The general public has enough faith in the judicial system as they do of getting a single-card travel network this lifetime.
2. The correct answer is (b). According to the BMA, we have just three years to wait before it's safe to breathe again.
3. The correct answer is (c). Although if you answered (b) we'll also give it to you.
4. The correct answer is (d). Strange as it might sound, some people don't like paying B5,000 to lick their dinner off the plate.
5. The correct answer is (c). Though we made up the bit about it being awkward. Without the press around, it's easier to be polite in front of people accused of ethnic cleansing.