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Interview with a Bangkok BDSM mistress of 16 years
Mistress X’s* dominatrix service caters to just about every sexual fetish you can imagine. Her website lists practices like spitting, toilet training, anal play and trampling, while a brown shower comes with a B2,000 surcharge. A nurse by profession (and still working as one today), she was introduced to the world of extreme BDSM by her husband—himself a “slave”—and now runs a fetish dungeon somewhere in Bangkok. But don’t expect to find out where. Even clients aren’t told, and have to be picked up and brought there by the mistress or one of her girls. Oh, but there is one rule: no sex.

By Oliver Irvine | Feb 09, 2015

  • Interview with a Bangkok BDSM mistress of 16 years

See also: 50 Shades of Bangkok: A guide to sex in the city


Who are most of your clients?

Most come from abroad but I don’t know how many of them live in Bangkok. I don’t ask what they do. But a lot I pick up at the airport. They start from 20 years old right up to nearly 70.
 
Have you ever had any violent clients? Clients who are disrespectful to the girls? How do you deal with that?
Never! I meet with customers and have to check everything: call, talk, email, read, reply, ask what they like, tell them what they can and cannot do. At least two mistresses are always present during a session to make sure everything will be OK. Sometimes the customers will choose the girls but there has to be two.
 
What are the ground rules?
They cannot have sex. No. Cannot touch our bodies or do anything without permission. They want to come? Cannot. They have to ask first. You have to understand, most people who come to us want torture, but sometimes we have people who are curious to know what the women will do. At first we sit and discuss the session and if they don’t like it then that’s not the real master-slave way.
 
Is your dungeon just in a regular house?
Yes, a house. We’re discreet. People around us have no idea what we do.
 
How many girls work at your dungeon? Do they have other jobs?
At the moment around five or six. And yes, they have jobs, too—good ones! But I’m not telling you what.
 
Does your profession as a nurse help with being a good dominatrix?
Yes, absolutely. I have to send my girls to learn about the right way to do certain procedures. It’s most important that everything is clean. All treatments, all toys are kept very clean. I am always worried about infection.
 
What’s the most risky service you perform?
Medical pain. Some people enjoy injections and things like that; cock and ball torture. We can put an IV drip in your balls. That’s the most dangerous thing we offer—not all the girls can do that.
 
Have you ever had to say no to a client’s request?
Yes: hanging. They do it a lot in America but this is too much for me. The customer will pass away for a few minutes and then be brought back. We will not do that.
 
Do you get a sexual thrill out of the work?
Of course! It’s not only money. I don’t know about all the girls—some say they do, others might just be pretending. But I tell every girl: don’t do anything that makes you unhappy.
 
What about safe words? How does a guy get out of a situation if he’s in too much pain?
We have three words: red, yellow, green. Red means stop, it’s too much, I cannot handle. Yellow is like a traffic light; not sure, slow down. Green means let me see.
 
Is there a big master-slave scene in Thailand?
I’m the first in Thailand, but now there are so many mistresses. Some people just want to be a mistress to make money but you must have experience. Everything for low pay is very risky. The slave and mistress must have trust. There must be an understanding.
 
*To protect Mistress X’s identity, her professional pseudonym has been changed.
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