Hi peeps—it’s me, Pancake, your favorite dek intern. So like, OMG, hello? Is this really the best the new government can do? It has been raining non-stop for like forever—lame! Do they not care about Thai people at all? I’d like to get a new leather bag for my Sony NEX-C3 at Suan Rot Fai (I know a guy), but like no way I’m going in this weather. If I have to order it on Face and the color comes out all wrong, I won’t be happy, Yingluck.

On TV, they said farmers are totally fed up with the rain, too. Well, OK, but why? Don’t you need rain to grow rice? I mean it’s not like they have a Uniqlo opening to attend and they’re stuck in front of Central for THREE HOURS. And like, rain is mother nature’s way of telling the food to grow. It’s totally fine in the countryside. It’s just here in Bangkok where it’s a huge, mega problem.

OK, I’m not talking about Uttaradit. Because they are like, badly hit. And I will totally send them condensed milk. But I mean, everyone else in the farmlands, calm the funk down. We have poor people in Bangkok too, and they don’t have drivers, and they ride in taxis. Do you have taxis where you live, that say “no no no” when you ask to go home to your villa and drive right past you and splash your clothes? No? Then maybe you should think about others a little bit before you bitch. OK?

But, hey, I won’t hold it against you. I actually have something FOR you, peeps. So here goes: Pancake’s three top tips for rainy days—even if you’re stuck on a real farm! 1.) Stock up on fruit. More rain means more time in front of the TV. Keep snacking to a minimum and try to replace your daily dose of Reese’s Pieces with some mango. Seriously. 2.) Rubber boots are OK but they should stop just above the ankle (you’re not hunting ducks, geez). For color ideas, just match with your new Uniqlo socks. 3.) Make a playlist on your iPhone of happy songs. Rain can get depressing, so you need to try and see the bright side: stop being so selfish, and think of children in Africa who don’t have any rain to complain about.

xxx Pancake
If, unlike Pancake, you really plan on helping out, visit www.thaiflood.com for information on donations and relief efforts.