Fashion correspondent extraordinaire, Tippy, is a gay man who dresses women, which makes him perfectly qualified to discuss Four Seasons-gate and women’s rights. So Tippy, what’s your take on this whole mess?
Tippy: So, so sad, na. Did you see how the Democrat basically called our PM a slut? Just because she sleeps with some old guy at the Four Seasons? It’s so unfair, every time a woman has sex at a hotel people assume it’s for money.

BK: Wait a second, Tippy. Apparently there were seven other people in that room…
Tippy: Jing, jing. She really is a modern women. Seven, three, one old man with a limp noodle… Lerd! The more the merrier, I always said in my boarding school days.

BK: We meant that it was strictly business in there.
Tippy: Rang! You’re as bad as them. Calling her a whore. Of course, the guy who started the accusations was behind a pyramid scheme, so maybe he’s just obsessed with making money with his mouth. And he called every Northern woman a prostitute—which is totally not true. For example, I’m from Chiang Mai, and trust me baby, you don’t even have to buy me a drink for me to get on my knees.

BK: Maybe you weren’t the best person to defend women’s rights after all, Tippy. Do you know what it means?
Tippy: Are you kidding? I adore women. I dress them up, put them in heels and I tell them, ‘Go kick ass, honey!’ I want women to be beautiful and feel strong. Can you imagine having to cook, clean, run the country and then pretend to enjoy shagging some old dude in a hotel? I don’t know how she does it, honestly. I’m like so disgusted that the Democrats can’t admire multi-tasking. Me, I’m her number one fan.

BK: People were more worried about her giving unfair advantages to a property developer, with advanced information on the flood-prevention plans, such as where floodways and dykes would go.
Tippy: Dykes? Dykes! Shia. You journalists are just the worst, na. Why is it that women are either prostitutes or frigid lesbians to you? Download some Japanese booby porn and educate yourself. Small ass, big tits and giant dick: that’s the future, honey.