May 10, 2012|
Without any bidding process and with less than a year left of his term, our esteemed Governor Sukhumbhand Paribatra has just signed a big fat B190 billion check to the BTS Company to operate the Skytrain until 2042. His Gubernatorial Graciousness claims that doing it now means we pay a lot less for the privilege today than we would in the near future. Come to think of it, why don’t we just pay for everything until 2042? You know, get it out of the way. Here are a few checks we’ll be writing this week:
B24,900 to California Wow for membership until 2042, at which point we’re positive they will have weathered their bankruptcy case and developed magnetic waves that resculpt your body from the inside while you eat pizza and watch lakorn.
B890,000 to True for a 360-month subscription plan that grants us a new iPhone and iPad every year for the next 30 years—and access to nationwide 3G in case such futuristic, space age technology should ever be discovered.
B337,506 to Wine Connection and After You, for one free weekly meal until 2042. (We are confident that in 30 years our insatiable desire for Chilean wine and giant slabs of bread coated in ice-cream and honey will not have ebbed.)
B99 towards Governor Sukhumbhand Paribatra’s reelection campaigns. In 2042, he’ll be 89 and well deserving of retirement. We realize this amount sounds paltry but if you invest B99 at 6% interest for 30 years, you do get B568, which is a pretty serious donation!
B555 to Nathan Oman Inc., a multinational start-up that promises to invent teleportation by 2042, just in time to replace our expired BTS license.
Gubernatorial investment disclaimer: The information contained herein does not suggest or imply and should not be construed, in any manner, a guarantee of future performance and/or investment advice. The governor cannot take responsibility for Bangkokians electing a Pheu Thai governor in 2013 or the invention of flying cars before 2042. Past performance does not guarantee future results—chok dee!